wildskyrider

 

Then apparently I had to learn how it actually feels to be temporarily disabled.  I'm walking now (slowly, awkwardly, painfully, but on my own two feet for a change), and I can now say with authority, being unable to walk without help REALLY SUCKS.  All respect to permanently disabled folks who can get around without anybody; y'all are amazing and I don't know how you do it.  I'm eternally grateful to random strangers who held doors or offered to carry things when I didn't have enough hands to carry myself and whatever it was.  (Fuck Instacart and their creditcard policies.  Much love to the tiny handful of restaurants that will still deliver for cash - I swear I'm on a firstname basis with these drivers.  The Chinese restaurant driver celebrated with me the first time I was able to stand on my own at the door!)  I now have a much greater understanding of the spoons analogy and recognize that I have actually been vastly understating how rough Tobirama truly has it.  I don't think I'll rework what I've already posted, but I may slow down Tobirama's near-miraculous coordination recovery going forward.

 

Anyway, being unable to walk on my own meant getting rides (taxis or coworkers) and lots of extra time getting from point A to point B (it took roughly three times as long to get into and out of the car at each end).  When you have to plan strategically for just getting across the room, everything takes a lot more time and effort, which meant pretty much no time for online anything.  Yes, my work made accommodations (and most customers were actually awesome about it), but it's still really hard and exhausting.  I don't know if the pain will ever fully heal, or if I'll just have to learn to live with it.

 

The thing is, I can't promise I won't disappear again.  I live alone, and I'm not social.  If something permanent did happen to me (and, I mean, everyone dies eventually), most likely no one would ever notice my online stuff to update it.  If my kin found my logins and writings, they would probably just delete everything.  It has made me consider whether there is any option for a deadman switch, rather than a fannish next of kin, since I have no one to nominate for such a role.  Something like, if I don't log into AO3 at all for some pre-specified time frame, reveal/orphan all my stuff.  Not sure how long a gap to pre-specify, but leaving it up to the user to set would be the easiest to justify.

 

Anyway, I have no idea if anyone even reads here, just giving an explanation for disappearing so long.  I already didn't post much on Reddit, but now that they've gone and given everything to AI, I don't see me posting much more than links over there.  It's really a shame people won't come back to DW; I like it better than Reddit anyway.